Sunday, September 05, 2021

Extraordinary Dairy at the Michigan State Fair

It was time to leave Detroit but we still had lots of Michigan adventures ahead.

There were chickens living next door to the Airbnb.

Yes, we were blasting some of Eminem's "Lose Yourself" whenever we passed an 8 Mile sign.

I don't like to brag but I'm somewhat of a state fair connoisseur. I sip them and swish them around in my mouth like a fine store brand cola. Michigan's was fun but it does lose some points from me in presentation. They didn't really have a proper fairgrounds, it was really just like one big convention center and then the space surrounding it.

I think a defining memory from this fair will be the Guernsey Farms Dairy table. They were selling "endless chocolate milk" for $1. I was determined to get my price per carton down to ¢1 even if it meant hospitalization.

Sus was pretty excited about the butter cow situation.

There was a time where I thought 1000 pounds was pretty big for a pumpkin. Then I saw the winner was 500 pounds heavier on top of that!

First off, I'd like to point out that the Show-Me Swine Racers are from the same state that Lydia was born in.


I'm not sure why this gif is so crazy but I think it captures what it would feel like to be on this ride.

I needed a chocolately dairy refreshment after all that piggy excitement.

There were a bunch of fun Mexican dances to be seen. This was kind of cool because they did a bunch of costume changes and mixed up their styles according to which region of Mexico they were showcasing.

There was even a dance that involved machetes. They just don't dance like they used to.

I could feel my bones getting stronger and chocolatier with every sip.

Doin my body good.

Sus and I got that Ram swag ready to watch the Raminator do some ramination.

Natalie's fun because in every single picture she's looking at herself on the screen rather than the camera lens. You're so vain. She did match me milk for milk though which is commendable if not medically advisable.

This was the best official entrance to the fair we could find. Sad! Illinois crushes it with that Lincoln that's taller than a two story building.

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, he drank twenty chocolate milks

There was a situation with Sus' car window. It broke free from its bonds and wouldn't wind back up. After fiddling with it a bit we were resigned to the fact that we would be driving several states on the highway with the windows down. My grandpa used to call that Polish air conditioning. Being so old that you're racist against white people is pretty impressive, actually.

I convinced the fellowship that we needed to visit the Virtue Cider Orchard on the way back to Chiraq. Nobody knows but this is a proud Anheuser-Busch company. They make fancy stuff though so I'm down to apple clown.

I thought there was a certain poetry in these bees reclaiming the honey from someone's charcuterie board. No take backs!

They had a lot of good stuff.

I got to talking shop with one of the workers and he let me in on a little insider info. Turns out that in Michigan this cider joint is legally classified as a winery. So they aren't allowed to sell beer even though they know that's what the lord calls us all to do. So they test brewed some secret stuff and are currently selling it at a couple of like rural Michigan gas stations. Sus and Natalie were such good sports... we went to one of those rural Michigan gas stations despite the fact that they were probably getting windburn from the car windows being down the entire drive. We were victorious!

Back in the Chire we ate some Mexican food, headed over to Sus' house, played Pandemic the board game to see where we all went wrong, and drank the beers. Fun times were had.

I think the story is that one of the apple boys went to Scandinavia and picked up some beer skills that he wanted to put into practice.

"Vestland from Virtue Farm is a modern take on the purest, naturally-sourced materials and ingredients, executed perfectly. These are the elements of Scandinavian design and cuisine that inspired this Nordic-Style Lager. Crisp but interestingly complex, Vestland is simple, elegant and natural."

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