Friday, July 24, 2020

Texas Prep

We have a road trip to Texas with Zoe on the books, so we've been preparing for the journey.

Lydia's penis envy has reached a new low.

Lydia and I have been covid hermits. I flatly refuse to enter buildings other than the one I live in, for example. Cooties aren't going to get me! Anyway, we are taking Zoe with us on this excursion so she was kind enough to get tested so that she could enter our circle of trust.

Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Diet Accomplished

I bet Hank that I could lose 40 pounds in four months. It ended up being a challenge that was well suited to my current situation of zero bars or restaurants or really interacting with other people in person at all. It was much easier to control my diet under these circumstances. I also rode the crap out of the Peloton.

Viry and Lolo gave me a pizza for my birthday like 3 months ago and it has been glumly waiting for me in the fridge ever since. I set it free!

We already had several ice cream toppings on hand from.. coupon sort of maneuvers that I like to do to get random free stuff. Anyway it turned into a nice celebratory ice cream bar.

I need to get fat again ASAP because none of my clothes fit and it's super annoying and I don't want to have to buy a whole new wardrobe. At one point we took a walk in Tower Grove Park and I didn't have a belt on for some reason. I had to walk around the whole time with my thumbs in my belt loops to keep my pants from falling down.

I've been scheming on how to get into a covid vaccine trial to potentially get my shot before everyone else and be the coolest kid in town. A downside that has been on my mind is that if you are in the placebo group that they may not tell you for a while, and then if the vaccine became available you would potentially then not get it because you wouldn't know if you already had it or not. I'm feeling brave though, because getting the coronavirus sounds unpleasant and I'm tired of living like I'm on a space station.

Hillbillies seem determined to pretend that this isn't a problem. They aren't really that good about threats that require a lot of thought.

Better late than never I guess?

Part of the reason that I'm a hero is that instead of going outside and coughing on people I'm staying home and watching 1990s episodes of Supermarket Sweep. It's interesting to see which brands survived and which didn't.

All the time I've saved by going nowhere and doing nothing I have invested in numerous bubble baths.

Saturday, July 18, 2020

The Gas Stations and German Enclaves of Missouri

Decided to mix it up a little and... did some more camping and hiking at Thousand Hills State Park near Kirksville in Adair County. The park features 1,500 year old Native American petroglyphs. We... did not have time to go see them, but I'm convinced that they exist.

Pretended to be admiring the flowers on this button snakeroot when really I was creepin’ on this old guy’s campsite at Long Branch State Park. The area was created when the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers dammed a river near Macon.

I think this poor bug was trying to lay eggs in some tree bark and was confused that all it was finding was impenetrable brown fiberglass.

There was an old timey Shell station museum thing on the side of the road that I was slightly obsessed with.

Deutschheim State Historic Site in Hermann includes the Pommer-Gentner house, which was built in 1840, when Germans first settled the Missouri River valley that reminded them of home.

Friday, July 17, 2020

The Bridges of Monroe County

There was an impromptu booty dance in the street last night.

Lydia wanted to wait by the window and see if more would happen tonight but I had to drag her to the car. There are more Missouri state parks out there!

It's been amusing lately seeing some of the advertisements for super local elected offices in tiny towns. This one in particular is hand written!

The bustling metropolis of Perry, MO.

Oh, how many vacation condos were accidentally purchased in Florida, Missouri?

I went to Florida, MO to visit Mark Twain Birthplace State Historic Site but the two room cabin where Twain was born in 1835 somehow got stuck inside of this Scientologist’s spaceship. “Twain” is an archaic term for “two”.

Found some nightmare material for you at Mark Twain State Park. Wolf spiders carry their young for 
several weeks after hatching. The young leave their mother only to crawl inside the ear of someone(you) while they’re sleeping.

Paris is beautiful this time of year.

Could see the light at the end of the tunnel at Union Covered Bridge State Historic Site in Monroe County. The bridge was built in 1871 in the Burr-arch truss design and is one of only four remaining covered bridges in the state.

Thousand Hills would serve as our homebase this time around.

Took a little stroll around downtown Kirksville. I love a good small town downtown.

We made an appearance on Truman State University's campus. It was nice and had a lot of historical buildings.

You don't usually see these beehive motifs outside of Mormon territory.