Tuesday, April 25, 2023

Baby Check Out Drama

Our hospital room had a sign on it that check out was supposed to be at 11am. We weren't able to escape this dungeon until about 6pm. We had to get cleared for parole by a lactation consultant, pediatrician, OB/GYN, and who knows who else. We had a whole check list of fun.

One of my missions was to get all of Lydia's prescriptions rounded up. The first thing I did was go the pharmacy. The process was super easy, and the bill was like 15 cents after insurance. One of the things I was picking up was oxycodone which they surprisingly just handed me without asking for identification or anything. Easy peasy. I then went to a different wing of the hospital to pick up our prescription for donated breast milk. They were a bit rude, and insisted that I needed the physical paper prescription that the doctor had signed because this particular office had not yet discovered computers. Cool. So I made the long journey back to the room, got the paper, and walked back to the dumb breast milk store. They were closed. Very cool. When we were about to walk out the door someone mentioned our lack of breast milk and the nurse called one of the lactation people who were able to key in to the dumb place and get us the milk. Like do that in the first place next time, thanks.

The milk was sort of an insurance policy in case Ernie lost more birth weight. I guess it's normal for babies to initially lose weight so this was just a precaution. Do not be alarmed.

Lydia turned on the milk faucets just in time.

Ernie was excited to wear his first clothes.

I think I had thought that I was going to be terrified to drive my newborn around, but it was so much of a pain to get to this first ride that I was just excited to leave the hospital. Luckily he seems to like his car seat and riding in cars so he wasn't back there screaming the whole time.

Our friends Gabby and Derek announced that they are expecting twins. I'm impressed by people that have multiple babies... this is plenty difficult and stressful with just one at a time.

One of our finals milestones at the hospital was the nurse cutting off Ernie's little ankle bracelet that would set off an alarm if anyone tried to steal him. Speaking of which, every time the nurse came in, she would check Lydia's bracelet to make sure it matched Ernie's. Great. Some months later Lydia said that anytime there was a new nurse on shift and I was out of the room, they would ask her if she felt safe with me. I understand the reasoning for it I guess but I kind of felt hurt by that.

When we got Ernie home he didn't say much but I got the feeling he was pretty impressed with the decor.

"Ok, dad. What are we going to do for the next 18 years?"

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