Saturday, February 22, 2020

Mardi Gras Mayhem 2020

I have a contact at Randall's Wines & Spirits that I bug when I want to walk with their float in a parade. I hit them up for the best parade of the year: Mardi Gras! They are awesome because they always provide free booze. I guess the downside is that it's not a full float so it doesn't feature an on board outhouse like many of them do. Drink responsibly or forever hold your pees.

Seago was in attendance this year. I wowed him with Brunei delicacies from beyond the seas.

Lydia and Zoe like to pee every five minutes. It's sort of like their hobby. To them it's sort of like liquid crochet. So to that end, they insisted that we stop for a non-alcoholic drink on the way to the drinkiest day of the year. 

Oh look. Here they are peeing.

The floats all assembled in a parking lot in the shadow of the Purina building. I like this part because when you're in the parade you don't get to see the floats pass by. The best you can do is walk around and check them all out beforehand.

I think there must have been some sort of blue/St. Louis Blues theme because everything was blue. You know, Marge Simpson/Stanley Cup stuff. Obvious associations like that.

Despite the fact that their theme didn't make any sense I was pretty impressed with their costumes. The hair was just a cylinder of blue bubble wrap taped to their heads.

Marges for days.

One awesome thing about the Randall's float is they always supply drinks. Even when it's supposed to be a dry parade. But I brought the ol trusty rum bag with me just in case. An adventurer never knows when a bag full of warm rum may come in handy.

This Bud Light ATV thing had a friggin Gatling gun t-shirt cannon mounted. 

Here is Seago having a serious conversation with a woman dressed like a jellyfish. I assume regarding marine biology.

My public was very excited to see me.

While I was whipping plastic things at the screaming masses I became separated from pretty much everyone in our group. Zoe dropped her phone and fell over while running to catch up with us. I'm not sure if she threw a single bead. Lydia tripped over someone with a wagon or something. And Seago just wandered off the parade route to chase some skirt. Bodies were dropping like a horror movie but I wasn't going to let the drunkards of St. Louis go home empty handed!

Zoe's special friend had a house party for us to make an appearance at. It was quite a house and wisely we weren't allowed inside.

The party was so well populated that we had our own hobo permanently stationed outside the gate. That's how you know that you've made it.

I made some youngins cry at beer pong. Back in my day we had to use rocks instead of ping pong balls and the cups were made out of clay.


We were drinking some top secret stuff.

The day was saved and the pearly necklaces were distributed. I was proud that I don't think I spent a damn dollar the whole day.

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