Boba Noodle Pimp

Lydia was out of town who knows where, so I took the opportunity to live my best life.

Elysian is just the best. They have fun flavors and really good package artwork.

My local grocery store QFC is so fancy they have a little place inside that sells wood fired pizzas.

Lydia's always "cooking" and "eating healthy" and "not being fat", so I hit a bunch of good restaurants while she was off eating celery sticks someplace. Xi'an Noodles in the University District is what's up this time.

Our magical Eater list said: "This no-frills spot in the U District has been slinging some of the city's best biang biang noodles - made from scratch every day - since it opened five years ago. The simplicity of the hot chili oil showcases the best dish, though meat toppings are also available, with spicy cumin lamb is a notable option. Open only for takeout and delivery at the moment."

Well, say no more playboy. I devoured some of the notable option lamb cumin biang biang noodles like some sort of carb demon. Take that, Lydia!

I also had some wonton in chili sauce.

This other place I walked past was so Chinese it had some friggin terracotta warriors hanging out in the lobby.

I was now on a boba tea quest. This joint looked kind of cool but I'm not sure that I'm familiar enough with the art of boba to be trusted to construct my own. I would likely end up with some sort of half tapioca half brown sugar monstrocity and wake up in the hospital.

This place caught my eye for some reason. I mean, with a name like WOW I figured I was in for a treat.

It turned out the treat was Jesus. I had wandered into some sort of extremist camp. Why does this always happen to me?

I still bought a boba because I didn't want those people to put a spell on me.

This dude drove from New Hampshire to Seattle with that pimp pride in his heart, and I can definitely respect that.