Sunday, September 01, 2019

A Savage Attack at Innsbrook

Lydia's uncle has a house out in the rich adult gated summer camp known as Innsbrook, Missouri. We invited all of our friends and had quite a time out there.

Whenever I'm spending my first night in a secluded spooky house I like there to be a lot of really unnerving artwork all over the walls.

I took what may have been my first kayak ride around the lake. It was nice and quiet when I got far enough away from these yahoos.

I was forced to make an emergency landing when I was attacked by a horsefly the size of a hamster. Luckily I had all my friends on shore. Not to help me at all but to take like 40 videos of me screaming and flailing my arms about.

I'm pretty much a hero for getting this criminal off of the streets. The dude was so beefy that swatting him against my skull didn't even squish him. He looks like he's just taking a breather. I threw his dumb little body back into the lake before he could wake back up and he was promptly devoured by fish. The first few fish that tried couldn't even swallow him. I barely escaped that cursed lake with my life.

There were meats served I assume in my honor for defeating the flying behemoth.

I did some experimentation with photos through binoculars. They went.... poorly.

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