Saturday, April 17, 2021

My Maserati Does 185

I'm glad that I got in before this crap Johnson & Johnson vaccine hit the streets.

I was trying to think of a fun birthday thing to do that didn't involve a lot of indoor contact with cootie people. Also I've been wanting to rent a Lambo for a while. It turns out that renting a Lamborghini is quite expensive and the local Exotic Car Collection by Enterprise doesn't even have them. So I rented a Maserati instead.

We drove it to Mayo Ketchup By Plantain Girl which features Puerto Rican, Dominican and Cuban delights and met up with Zoe and Spencer.

The plan was to drive to random friends' houses and drink and say howdy-doo. In front of Seago's house we checked out the engine. I don't know what I was expecting to see as I couldn't tell you what a normal engine looks like. Chaos ensued when Seago's dog Goose got.. loose and jumped into the car thinking that it was time to go bye bye. He got mud all over the Italian leather interior. If that had been my car I would have promptly skinned that dog and wore its face next Halloween, but hey it's a rental.

We've been driving around blaring Joe Walsh's "Life's Been Good" because it has a line "My Maserati does one-eighty-five/I lost my license, now I don't drive". I really should have come prepared with more Maserati related songs. I don't like to brag but my Maserati actually does 190.

Hank actually took me up on my offer to take a spin. His kids were also in the car so I figured he probably wouldn't crash it.

My rented chariot is a 2019 Maserati Quattroporte with a 3.0-liter twin-turbocharged V6 engine. I don't know what any of those words mean but they sound pretty cool.

Zoe did some driving. I think she was the first to press the "sport" button that was hidden somewhere. It made the engine roar!

So of course when we did grocery pickup at Schnucks later that day, I did in with the engine on and in sport mode. Got a lot of amusing looks. I'm sure the dude carrying the groceries was very impressed.

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