Saturday, March 31, 2018

An Adult Easter Egg Hunt

When I heard there was going to be an Easter egg hunt for adults in Tower Grove Park I was immediately on board. I went to one or two public Easter egg hunts in public parks as a child and got clobbered by giant man-children who were probably competing out of their age group and/or on performance enhancing drugs. Now though I am a full grown wolfman with a hunger. A hunger that can only be satisfied by snatching plastic eggs away from the weak. Let the games begin!

The event was a Planned Parenthood fundraiser so I felt like that was moral cover to destroy my opponents.

We scoped out the prize table while we waited for game time. Some of the eggs contained pieces of paper that could be redeemed for prizes. I like prizes.

When they blew the starting whistle I turned on the jets and started vacuuming up the treasure-filled containers. We were in a group of 5 or 6 and when I was finished berserking I didn't know where a single one of them was. There was one in the middle of a creek and I figured that such an annoyingly placed egg might have a good prize so I used a stick to fish it out.

We knew the number of eggs and the number of contestants and each person should have found 10 on average. I found 30. I had to sit down for like 30 minutes to catch my breath but it was worth it.

We didn't win any of the big prizes like Cardinals tickets but we got a few amusing little things. The best prize of all is knowing I helped send a couple of suckers home with only the taste of grass to chew on.

To the victor go the cupcake flavored unicorn cereals!

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