Tuesday, April 04, 2017

Handsome Cardinals Fan Has Some Complaining to Do

Lydia and I went to the second Cardinals game of the season: the poor man's Opening Day. Opening Day was crazy this year because it was on a Sunday and it was against the Cubs. Anyway, so we got to Busch Stadium 15 minutes or so early and expected to just saunter on in. There were hellish lines wrapping around the whole stadium!

Well with all of the extra time I had standing in line I tweeted some snark at the Cardinals to shame them for being so disorganized. Sure I only paid $11 for 2 standing room tickets, but it's the principle of the thing now isn't it?

And as I think should always happen when I have an opinion about something, I was contacted by the local news.

Fox 2 News asked if they could use the picture and a couple other little questions.

Finally we got into the stadium.

This was when Stephen Piscotty got beaned in the head by the ball while sliding into home.

At this point I figured I would get my picture on the news somewhere and had a good laugh about it. Well the next day things escalated. They wanted to interview me!

I was thinking what part of "I was in a line and I don't like lines" do I really need to explain on television, but sure why not?

So I strolled down to Busch Stadium, returning to the scene of the crime. My interview was with Mid-America Emmy winning reporter Erika Tallan and John the camera-bro(no relation). I simply explained in my usual straight-faced fashion that I don't like lines and this was a long line and so forth.

I went home then headed over to a bar where my crew and I dominate bar trivia most Wednesdays. I asked them to turn one of the many TVs to my channel and sure enough, I was all over the evening news. Which is completely ridiculous.

The next day on the morning show they did a live broadcast but it still used my sweet pics and some of the interview. Just keep airing the clips until my public is satisfied, I say.

I took a screenshot for the next time someone makes fun of me for only knowing one player on the team's name: Yadier Molina. And Piscotty but just because it reminds me of biscotti.

Friday, March 31, 2017

Fancy Frenchy Hats

The Saint Louis Art Museum has periodic special exhibits with noteworthy pieces and/or noteworthy artists. On Fridays they are free if you get tickets beforehand. They'll let you get 6 of these magical free tickets per person, so Lydia and I invited our whole kickball team to the majesty of Degas, Impressionism, and the Paris Millinery Trade. Surprisingly the ten spots filled up pretty quickly. I hadn't realized we had so many fans of the 1800s Paris hat-making industry on our team.

This exhibit was pretty cool because it had multiple mediums on display.

I tried a couple of them on. Photo by BK.

This was a satirical caricature of how crazy women's hats of the day were becoming.

Photo by Katie G.

I've become a fan of Toulouse-Lautrec's advertisement posters to the extent that I think I may need one on my wall. It's starting to look like an Applebee's in here though... Oh well.

Well since it was the last Friday of the month it was also SLAM Underground which is when the hip kids go to the art museum and mostly ignore the art in favor of fun activities.

Mardi Gras mask making? Sure why not.

"We all wear two faces. What counts is what they mask." - Batman

The after party was at 2nd Shift Brewing.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Bud Tour

No visit to St. Louis is complete without a peek at the Anheuser-Busch Brewery Tour so we brought Lydia's friend Katie along.

Later that night we had a little party at our apartment. I never seem to have any pictures of parties at our apartment...

Friday, March 17, 2017

Dogtown St. Patrick's Day Parade

Confusingly St. Louis has two St. Patrick's Day parades every year. The first one I think is always the Saturday before the actual day. We had a lot of fun walking in that and hurling green beads at people. Well at today's parade we just watched and enjoyed ourselves. Lydia's college friend Katie was visiting so it was a good way to entertain her.

The second parade, actually on St. Patrick's Day, takes place in Dogtown, St. Louis' Irish neighborhood.

I snagged a corned beef sammy from a street vendor. It was sort of weird.

Afterward we stopped at the nearby Hi-Pointe Drive-In that opened recently. Our friend Lainey got this awesome looking shamrock shake that I was kind of jealous of.

We stopped by Trueman's Place in Benton Park and met up with some more friends. Irishy good times were had.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Mac Sabbath Rocked My Face Right Off

I was sitting at home one day thinking a think to myself, "man I haven't had a parody heavy metal show rock my face off lately," and then sure enough my buddy KJ texted me an invite to a show at the The Firebird. The Mockstrosity Tour had come to town!

When I walked through the door Okilly Dokilly was already left-handedly rocking on stage.

I think it's pretty obvious what's happening here but just in case I'll let Wikipedia explain: "Okilly Dokilly is a metalcore band from Phoenix, Arizona that plays "Nedal" music; a subgenre of metal music themed around the animated character Ned Flanders from the television series The Simpsons."

From their website: "a majority of the band's lyrics are direct Ned quotes".

It didn't take long for the giant inflatable donut to start getting tossed around. The band's frontman, Head Ned, addressed the crowd as "neighborinos".

All that head banging worked up a powerful thirst. Rocking out this hard is not for everyone. I was just out of range when things got too real for a chick and she barfed her barfs out all over the floor. Get cool chick.

Next was Metalachi. Their sound wasn't really for me. Definitely the worst mariachi-metal cover band I've heard in months.


When Mac Sabbath came on stage I peed my pants a little. In a hardcore metal way.

Wikipedia's always there for me when I don't really want to write the things: "Mac Sabbath is an American parody heavy metal tribute band formed in Los Angeles, California in 2014. The self-appointed founders of "Drive Thru Metal", the band is primarily a parody of English heavy metal group Black Sabbath, utilizing lyricism and imagery centered on fast food. Musically, Mac Sabbath performs faithful covers of Black Sabbath's songs with only the lyrics humorously re-written and re-arranged. For example, the band's repertoire includes such parodies as "Pair-a-Buns" ("Paranoid"), "Frying Pan" ("Iron Man"), "Sweet Beef" ("Sweet Leaf"), "Never Say Diet" ("Never Say Die") and "Zipping Up the Uniform" ("Symptom of the Universe")."

Ronald Osbourne served up the jokes in between songs. He complimented his opener Okilly Dokilly, "anyone with yellow hands is ok with me." He also gave punny shout outs to made up artists such as Pantera Bread and Cinnabon Jovi.

Around this time the giant stage clown heads' eyes lit up with red laser beams. I believe all clowns have this ability.

Just when I thought my life had no chance of further improvement, my third favorite St. Louis artist (after Nelly and Chuck Berry) Clownvis Presley, The King of Clowns hopped up on stage. Oh me oh my. 

I dug up this beautifully composed photo of Seago and I at the Clownvis All American BBQ at the Atomic Cowboy from when the 4th of July still meant Superman, little people, and clowns: 2010.

I was so emotional afterward that I had to stop for some McNuggets on the way home.