Colombian Candy Bars

While I write a bit more on Colombia, I thought this was worth sharing by itself.

The name of this delicious Nestle treat is Beso de Negra, or "Black Kiss" according to Google Translate. The African American woman pictured blowing a kiss on the wrapper is a bit risque by American standards. I think it's a nice little illustration of how race is treated differently in other countries. The treat is like a chocolate covered marshmallow atop a cookie. The tagline is "delicious chocolate flavor... delicious cookie".


Here is a much more attractively named ripoff of Baby Ruth sold in Colombia: Baby Johnny's!

In Colombia, McDonald's Delivers

You might think it very tourist-American of me to write about McDonald's in other countries, but I think the fact that McDonald's delivers in Colombia is newsworthy. I had assumed that the United States was on the cutting edge of sedentary over-consumption of calories, but I'm afraid we have fallen behind. The learner has become the master.

I was thinking it might be cool to pick something strange that is only on local menus, but having to order over the phone put the brakes on that plan for the time being. I stuck with a classic, the Quarter Pounder with cheese combo. You can't go wrong with that. There's actually a location extremely close to Angelica's house, so it didn't take long at all for the food to arrive.

The box everything came in was pretty serious about not accepting the food if the seal was broken. It's the symbol of the trust shared by myself and Ronald.

The fries came in a little box so that they didn't spill everywhere in transit. The Spanish is "Like in McDonald's, but in your house".

Speed holes so you can eat faster.




Dessert was something from the supermarket. Arroz con leche is rice pudding with cinnamon as far as I am concerned.

I just got back from the Incan ruins of Peru Monday evening, so I've got some coverage of that brewing. Stay tuned.

My Month in Colombia Begins

I tapped a little something out somewhere over the United States. "The plane just went over some heavily populated area. It's something like looking into a computer's mind. So many lights, densely packed in lines and grids. Bright veins spider out into spindly branches. You can't see a city's problems from up here, just the light."

The first thing that I always notice when I come to Colombia is the traffic. It is insane. I used to be frightened by the constant honking, death-tempting near misses, and the swerving due to moon craters in the pavement, but now it's all become pretty funny. Sure, if I had to drive through it myself I would probably cry, but I trust my Colombian companions to safely deliver us through the madness. Traffic lights seem to be obeyed fairly well, but not much else. Stop signs are entirely optional. At a red light it is routine to have people walking amongst the stopped cars selling all sorts of things. Flowers, cleaning equipment, and fruit pass by my window while I try to look as uninterested as possible. Yesterday a man stood on another's shoulders and they both juggled while we idled. The trick then is for them to stop their performance soon enough so that they can bob from car to car to collect donations through car windows opened just a crack. Traffic have never been so exciting.

I went to the American Embassy in Bogota yesterday and today. The Japanese government mercilessly stickered and stamped my passport a total of 25 times during my two years in and out of Japan. Add to that a couple recent little excursions and my passport was filled thoroughly. The addition of another set of pages to a passport is a free service that the embassy provides. I went in and dropped my laden passport off for it's upgrade without any difficulty. I went through three checkpoints with two metal detectors without much fuss, completely contrary to the hellish line waiting that Angelica has had to endure several times. I even got to see a motorcade leave with what must have been someone important. My second visit to pick my passport up, though, was pretty awful. The guard on the outer gate spoke crap English, while the guards on the inner gate spoke none. When I left I was told something like "come back at three". Coming from the nice lady who worked at the embassy, this seemed a loose guideline. Coming from the staunchly monolingual guards outside, though, this was a one minute window of entry opportunity. From the lengthy Spanish diatribe I received from multiple guards I gathered "this card says 3, and now it is past 3, so come back tomorrow." Someone told Angelica "3 means 3. Not 3:05 or 3:10". I'd say a same certain someone is confused about where their arepa money comes from.

Well I'm leaving for Peru today, so I did "come back tomorrow". But I can't say I was happy about it. I've never written a letter to an ambassador before. I'll tell you how that goes.

Here's my not-so-official looking ticket to getting my freaking passport back.

I took a couple of pictures of the embassy compound out the window while we drove off. We were stopped less than a minute later by police, who questioned us about why I would do such a thing. I'll be happy if I never see that place again.

I had a lot of fun yesterday, too, though. Angelica's cousin had her birthday party yesterday, which was pretty cool. It was a pretty lively party. A band played right in the living room and lots of people were dancing. It was a nice little peak at Colombian culture.

The snack food here is really good. These Maizitos are the same thing as Fritos in the US.


I love the packaging. Don Maizito says "We are fried!" The four squares show the correct way to open the bag so that the chips explode out.

7/7/08 Colombian Gold Discovery

I was recently rushing around in the Tokyo subway system when I saw this poster. It is advertising an exhibition of Colombian golden artifacts at the National Museum of Nature and Science. I had the pleasure of touring the Museo del Oro last year during my brief stay in Bogotá. What an unexpected place to remind me of my South American travels, underground Japan.

A bit of Spanish at the bottom of the poster reads: Colombia Japón 100 años de amistad (100 years of friendship). Here is the website for the exhibit. Its in Japanese, but there are lots of pretty pictures too. Hehe

Colombia, now Japan!

One last account of my Colombia travels should just about cover everything noteworthy. It really is a great country, and it seems to be much safer than its reputation might imply.

Throughout my time in Colombia, I occasionally wanted to just hang out and watch a movie or play a video game. It just so happens that Colombia is the best place I've ever been when it comes to buying these two things. These wonderful people openly and proudly ignore copyright law and sell fake movies/games not only on the streets, but in legitimate storefronts. I simply walk up to a store, and they hand me a binder full of every game I can recall being made. I point, and they deliver a piece of software like magic. Magic that costs two dollars a pop.

Behold the unlawful bounty.

The best part about buying a playstation game for 2 dollars is that we already haggled them down from 3 dollars.

My theory is that this whole stealing of say, a movie, is a vicious cycle. It seems that the typical DVD sold in Colombia is imported from the US. This drives the cost to a point thats even higher than what we pay. Average Colombians cant afford to pay this, so they rely on the illegal copies. This brings down the number of legitimate DVDs sold, making each DVD more expensive to ship, continuing the process.


I was excited yet dismayed to see that my favorite "religion" had infiltrated this innocent land. I tricked Angelica into taking me into this place. Sure, it looks like a storefront, but it just happens to be selling the meaning of the universe.

The Colombian office of the coolest religion ever, Scientology.

In case you are still in the dark, here is a quick summary of the key to the meaning of life.

I arrived in Japan last night. I haven't checked out the neighborhood yet, but my apartment is pretty quality, plus a lot larger than I imagined. More on Ashikaga as it reveals itself. Later

Colombia, Gwen Stefani Showdown, and the Simpsons Movie

July 20th is Independence Day for the good people of Colombia. I assumed that some amount of fireworks or other impressive festivities would ensue. Instead, the population seems to treat this as any other government holiday that doesn't specifically touch their lives. Yes, everyone gets a day off work, and there is a noticeable increase in national flags, but that was about the extent of it. There is a government sponsored parade that normally occurs in Bogota, however even this entertainment was robbed from me. It seems that Nicaragua has been expressing interest in gaining power over the Colombian island of San Andres for some time now. The national parade was held on the island as a statement that those people are Colombians too. One parade. In the whole country. On an island...

What I did get to see was some sort of anti government demonstration parade walking down the streets(one would think that the government might have just a smallish parade to prevent this demonstration from happening.... but hey, its their country). As I couldn't fully understand what these people were whining about, the most impressive part of the action was the police that were assigned to the march.

Pretty cool crowd control vehicle with a water cannon. Looks like it has seen some past action.

Phalanx of policemen on the march.

We later made a visit to the Museo Nacional. I love museums, but without any written translations anywhere, much of the information was lost on me. One of the most memorable exhibits were mummified natives had had been scrunched into the fetal position and stuck in holes in the side of cliffs. Pretty crazy. I took a few shots of the random artifacts that I thought looked interesting.

The museum's exterior had a stately castle look to it.

"Crab people, crab people, taste like crab, look like people."

Looks like an ancient advertisement for a Coca flavored soft drink.

An interesting story began to unfold one Saturday morning. I had watched a bit of the local news, and it seemed that Gwen Stefani had just arrived at Bogota airport. I still find it amusing that even famous people are occasionally subjected to the same torture as the rest of us at airports, so I watched a bit more then moved on with the rest of my day. That night we all went to Andres Carne de Res(the website is awesome and constantly changes, give it a look). It is a pretty awesome restaurant, with a decorating style the likes of which I've never seen. Even the menu is weird: a small scroll inside a metal box. One must turn one of two handles on the box to scroll through the abundant menu items. Theres an account of my first visit to this place in the 5/7/07 article (accessible through the archive tree to the left of this article). Anyway, on with the story. So aside from being an awesome place to eat, Andres turns into a pretty happening dance club when the sun goes down. People everywhere, hard to walk around: it took us forever to scavenge a table despite our reservation. At one point in the night, the music stops, and there is an announcement. "Someone as important as Shakira is here and wants a table. If someone would give up their table that would be great". (Things to bear in mind: #1 Shakira's hometown is Barranquilla, Colombia. #2 She is the highest record selling Colombian artist of all time.) We all speculate about who it might be, but none of us care enough to go look, and when the music starts up again we all forget the incident. Some time later, the music stops again, bearing another announcement. "Gwen Stefani has left because she couldn't get a table," along with a comment like "we are happy that important people want to party here, but you are all important too." The next song to play on the dance floor was Sweet Escape by the old Gwenster. I laughed my head off about this for a time, remembering the earlier TV coverage. Not only that, but for the rest of the trip, just about every Coca-Cola product that I put my hands on featured advertisements for the Coke-sponsored Gwen concert occurring that Saturday. Very entertaining.

Sweet Escape Music Video

I originally thought this picture was a good way to illustrate the genius of the Colombian practice of handing out little plastic gloves when serving messy foods like hot wings. It also has a bonus Gwen Stefani advert in it. Hehe

"Sorry Gwen, we got here first"

Yesterday I attended an early screening afforded to all of the Springfields that didn't win the (fixed!) contest to host the premier of The Simpsons Movie. I give the movie a so-so review, only because I love the Simpsons and I wasn't blown away. The animation quality was noticeably beefed up with the help of computers, and everything was looking spiffy. No extra hoopla at the showing by Springfield dignitaries, unfortunately.

Springfield, ILLINOIS! Recognize

Colombia, International Drivers License

As fate would have it, Angelica got a call from the US embassy during my trip. It seems that after all this time they finally decided to grant her a visa to come back to work in Illinois. It also meant that I got to finally check out this embassy that Ive heard so much about. I inquired about any possible tours by email to the embassy's website with no meaningful answer, unfortunately. I was amused to find a small industry had developed surrounding the US compound, offering things like visa photos and various documents. When we finally got to the front of the visa line, the bastards wouldn't even let me go in the gates with her because I didn't have any visa business of my own. Something about a Colombian telling me that I couldn't enter the US embassy bothered me pretty bad, but I understand that why they wouldn't want people strolling around without any real business. Whatever. I was consoled by the fact that it didn't look real interesting inside anyway.

I could smell the delicious freedom emanating from our embassy.



Angelica at one of the numerous visa repair shops.

There was some sort of widespread demonstration not long before I arrived in the country. It was a protest demanding the release of some lawmakers kidnapped by revolutionaries some number of years ago. I occasionally ran across some evidence of these protests.

I visited the national post office to pick up some souvenir stamps. Some patriots had recently redecorated the building.

Today I went to pick up an international drivers permit from AAA. I showed my current license, gave them some passport sized pictures, slipped them $15, and voila! Instant drivers license, good in Japan for 1 year. No test or anything. Sure I cant read most of the Japanese road signs, and maybe Im not used to driving on the left side of the road.. but who cares! I have a piece of paper from my local travel agency! Hurray!

Back for a Limited Time

Whew! There's something very Wizard of Oz about boarding a plane in the historic capital city of Colombia, Bogota(map), taking a nap, then waking up a few hours later in the US. Unfortunately I've had about an hour of total internet access during my stay in the ol' Bogota, which hurts me deep in my soul. How can I check random facts at a whim without the internet? Its like I have to rely on my previous education here.... shudder. So, readers, that means that you get a couple of general recollections of my travels rather than the day by day account.

This time I decided that I didn't want to annoy Angelica's family by living in their apartment for two weeks, so I stayed someplace else. Her dad got me a room in this pretty excellent hotel meant for veterans and their families. Not only was it a nice and very cheap hotel, but it was part of a compound containing several restaurants and bars, a few stores, a bowling alley, minigolf, swimming pools and so on. Everything was fenced in and patrolled by military police, which was really the best. I didn't have to worry much about the safety of my belongings. The subject of security leads me on a bit of a sidetrack...

Just to park in this place requires a bit of extra time. You have to stop your vehicle at the gate and show ID. At the same time, soldiers carrying very large guns check out your trunk. Often they have a bomb sniffing dog check everything as well. While this may seem like a lot, a trip to one of the many local malls isn't much easier. Private security mans the gates and the bomb dogs, but the process is mostly the same. Security patrols the lots and watches from above. I assume that this security is a remnant of more turbulent times, but it gives one a safe feeling anyway.

Here is a man dutifully watching over the mall parking lot from his guard tower.





Bomb dogs diligently keep the Hard Rock Cafe Bogota safe from terrorists and disco lovers.

A big thing that I had the opportunity to see was the 2007 Agro Expo. It reminded me a lot of the part of the Illinois State Fair(which I am going to miss this year, boo hoo) that deals with farm stuff. This was more on the trade show side of things, with some buildings devoted to something specific like meat packing equipment that someone outside of the industry would have very little interest in. Apart from the serious farm equipment, there was plenty for the average person to do. Like every good fair, there were all kinds of different foods to try, and I just happen to be a professional eater. I had food and drink samples shoved at my face from all directions, which is something I could get used to. Also nice: I couldn't understand the sales pitch following the sample, so I just politely left and went to the next booth. One of my favorites were small pieces of banana dehydrated until chewy but not completely hard, then covered in chocolate.

A little arch marks the entrance to the Agro Expo.

Here we have one of the most unexpected exhibits at the Expo. These people were selling all kinds of things made from the Coca leaf. I passed on trying any of this stuff... I imagine that a Coca soda might produce some unwanted drug test results in the future.

I happened upon an interesting demonstration of how a kind of unprocessed sugar can be extracted from sugarcane. Here the stalks of the plant are ground up and the husks removed.



On the other side of the sugarcane operation, the mashed up plant is boiled down to retrieve the sugary goodness. Its then poured into square molds to harden.




Here some teenage police enjoy the fair. I believe that there is some sort of mandatory service for young people in Colombia, unless you are rich enough to pay your way out of it, of course.

More Colombian adventures await. Check back tomorrow to be thoroughly astounded and/or amazed. I leave for Ashikaga, Japan on the 29th, so I only have a couple days left to pack and digest some last morsels of amercian culture. Keep it real.

World Tour

Friday was my final day at Karmak. My coworkers had a nice miniature potluck for me and everything. I really do value my experiences there. I learned many things that will be serve me well in the future. Just spending some time learning how to operate in an office setting is pretty crucial, not to mention all of the technology that I became familiar with. My job took me to six states, two that were new to me. I regret not having the opportunity to see any other countries during my work travels, but I can't complain much. The people there are really friendly and welcoming... Goodbye Carlinville! Nice place, but Im not going to miss the commute.

I am going to spend some more time in Colombia before I head to my new teaching position. I figured I should share a couple of things about the last trip that I inadvertently left out. Its crazy to think that this excursion was only a week of my life. I feel like I saw and did enough to fill a month.

The first big site that deserves to be mentioned was Pie De La Popa in Cartagena. This amounted to yet another religious building on the top of a large hill. Besides a great view of the surrounding city, I don't recall it being very noteworthy in my mind, but it seemed to command a degree of importance that I never understood. I gathered from a few pictures on the walls that Pope John Paul II had visited and blessed this place, so if its good enough for the Pope I guess I can manage.

During our wanderings in and out of the religious buildings, there was something I couldn't stop thinking about. When we were finally ready to leave, I had to see it again. At the gates to this place, among all of the really annoying peddlers, was a guy holding two sloths. These might be the coolest animals that I have ever seen with my own eyes. They move ridiculously slowly, and a little scrunched face on a longish neck reminded me a bit of a hairy E.T.. They also had really long claws. I read that they are usually safe from being hunted by humans because their claws are so long that a lethal bullet isn't enough to dislodge their body from a tree. Pretty crazy.

Every church should have an exotic petting zoo

This next picture is a kickass statue of Simon Bolivar that we discovered during a night time stroll in a park. Before going to Colombia, I didnt really know much of anything about this man. But he seems to be the historical rockstar of the continent. Imagine a George Washington figure, who, after leading the United States to independence, decided to go ahead and liberate 5 other countries and serve as president in each. He seems to have just plain dominated the Spanish wherever he went. Beast man.

Well my time in the ol' US is winding down. Let's hope its memorable!

First Day in Cartagena

I finally took the time to do some more Colombian show and tell. Brace yourself for excitement, 'cause 5/9/07 is coming at you.

Now comes my favorite part of the little Colombian trip. Cartagena! (Here's its wikipage, and here's the map). While Bogota's weather was a bit cloudy, and cold enough to have to wear a sweatshirt occasionally, Cartagena was exactly the opposite. It is on the northern border of the country, and it sits next to the Caribbean. A sunny, beach filled place, Cartagena is a perfect tourist spot.

Colorful view of Bogota shortly after takeoff.

As soon as I had walked off the plane it was obvious that this place was much different from where I had been previously. A good illustration of this was the several uniformed employees waiting to help me carry my bags at the airport. One would walk up and ask me if they could carry my bags for me(I can only assume, as I had no clue what they were gibbering). I would say no, and they would reluctantly go away. This event repeated itself at least five times. Once we had finally gathered our luggage, we started out the door. One of those uniformed guys was not about to let us escape without giving someone money. He pretty much grabbed my rolling suitcase out of my hand and started carrying it toward our hotel shuttle.... all 20 steps. Then he stood and said "the tip is optional". Oh man, what a bastard. I think I gave him a dollar just to make him go away, but I was not happy about it.

Even in such a beautiful, touristy getaway, there weren't any non-Hispanic people around, so I felt like I was getting singled out to be hastled. One of the very few downsides of this great place is that everyone seems to be hanging around waiting for me and my wallet. I needed to brace myself when leaving a popular museum, because as soon as I was outside I would get ambushed by people getting in my face trying to sell me sunglasses or random trinkets. I admire their entrepreneurial spirit, but they definitely need to work on their marketing approach. I didn't care what they had, I just wanted to get away from them. Well, enough ranting...

We stayed at the Hotel Decameron in an area called Bocagrande. This section of the city is filled with tall hotels lining the beach. A bit farther inland the scene started to become just the usual urban setting, not much different than the neighborhoods I had seen in Bogota. The hotel itself was pretty excellent in part because it was all-inclusive. There were a couple of bars and restaurants on the property, as well as a few that they would shuttle you to if you asked. Our room had a ridiculously good view of the ocean and the old city, which sometimes made it hard to even want to go outside.

A feeble attempt of mine to get artsy with a shot of the resort.

Once we had dumped all of our luggage in the room, we were off to exploring. The boundaries of the historic "Old City" district were fairly obvious due to the large defensive walls surrounding it. Cartagena was pretty hardcore fortified by the Spanish to keep pirates and other baddies from preying on the city. The city was an important stop in the slave trade as well as commodities, and so became a nice target. The biggest visible part of the defensive structures is the Castillo de San Felipe de Barajas, which not only is huge and mean looking, but takes forever to say. A two pronged defense plan.

Close to one of the entrances in the high walls surrounding the city, stands Pedro de Heredia, who founded Cartagena in 1533. (Notice that my picture is better than the one in the link... Booyah, Wikipedia!)

Some giant Colombian colors flying over the fort.

The old colonial defenses are a big part of Cartagena's heritage, and the fort is the center piece. The most interesting part of the fort is supposed to be the labyrinth of tunnels that run beneath it. I think that they were used both to confound enemies as well as store weapons and supplies. I imagined that some pickpocket was waiting for me in this dark maze, so I chickened out and wouldn't go very far inside.

This is where someone was waiting to beat me and take my money.

I don't recall the significance of these things... I think that they are the "traveler's shoes" or something along those lines. Nice view of the fort in the background, though.

"Oh McDonald's, wherever I am, you're always there for me with your sweet, sweet unhealthiness"

More coming up!

More Colombia Chronicles

Now, on with day 4, the 8th of May. It was a very foggy morning, which was unfortunate because the place I was about to go next was known for its great view of the city. We took a beautiful cable car ride to the top of Monserrate Hill(wikipedia has a pretty complete page on this... considering it is a hill in South America... wikipedia is so great...). During the little cable car's long climb to the top of the hill, we could see parts of the faint foot trail to the top. As the top features a 17th century church, many pilgrims show their devotion by climbing up this dangerous looking path. It was raining lightly on this particular day, so I didn't get to see anyone struggling up the steps.

Here's a nice shot while we are awaiting our cabled chariot from the sky.

A foggy view of downtown Bogota.

The city is slowly being sucked up by the mists.

Once at the top, we had a nice lunch at Saint Clair's House restaurant. We sat by one of the many large windows so that we could continue to enjoy the view through the clear patches in the deep haze that hung over the city below. Apparently the house was built in some other town, but it was later moved to the top of this hill. Why you would move a house up what is almost a mountain, not to mention how, was not explained, but still entertaining to imagine. I had a glass of wine that was warmed up with spices, the taste of the alcohol is strengthened, but so was the flavor and aroma of the wine.

Here's a view of the restaurant. Notice the giant religious statue on the hill in the distance.

After a light lunch, we continued to what is the main attraction of the hill, the little chapel. The Colombians have an interesting way of depicting religious characters. While we generally just have white statues of saints and whatnot, the statues that I saw here were much more graphic, and a lot less peaceful looking. The statue of Jesus at this small church was almost too much to look at. The skin was the color of a man who had spent his life under a harsh sun. His crown of thorns caused blood to run down over his face. It looked like more of a wax replica than a statue.

An outside area of the church is covered in small plaques. When people pray to the scary Jesus statue, and get what they want, they buy a thank you stone and place it here.

After another fun ride on the sky ride, we were ready to continue our exploration of downtown Bogota. One of the big things I was interested in seeing was a bull fight. Apparently the Spanish tradition has a firm footing in this country as well. Unfortunately there is only a short season for the fights.. Oh well, something to look forward to I guess. One of the most interesting sites on the whole trip was near the bull fighting ring. The Museo del Oro(Museum of Gold) contains countless examples of golden artifacts crafted by Pre-Hispanic peoples. At times, the level of detail that these people put into their work was amazing. If one can make generalities, many of the artifacts fell into two groups. Some were for emphasizing the power of the ruler at the time, making him seem more stable and awe inspiring. Things such as large breastplates and masks could make a normal person seem like a god. The other large group of artifacts revolved around the shamans of the civilizations. The gold figures depicted the powers of the shamans, and the terrifying creatures that they could transform themselves into. With our little audio guide/players, we walked around to each of the cases and listened to an explanation, by the time we got to the second floor though, the sheer mass of information and material there causes us to wander and only listen to the especially interesting exhibits.

An interesting side note. The legend of El Dorado, the lost city of gold, originated from stories about these gold covered people living in present day Colombia.

A popular motif in the leaders' accessories was the jaguar.

Here are a couple of implements for the use of coca leaves. They are shaped to symbolize man and woman.

Some pretty excellent headgear.

At one point in the museum, I turned and realized that a small group of school children were standing motionless and staring at me. Among other mumblings, "where are you from?" seemed to be the question coming from them. I replied with a deep "Estados Unidos". Angelica said that their next question was "where is that?". I think that this is a nice illustration of the situation in the country. Even in Bogota, a city of over 6 million inhabitants, I rarely saw a white person. I think that until just recently, tourists have avoided this place because of the threats involved. The fact that the government has been pushing the crazies farther away from the popular areas means that this place will be crawling with annoying foreigners in no time, for better or worse. In the mean time though, I can enjoy being an oddity in a strange land.

After another long, but satisfying day, it was time to go back to Angelica's home and do some quick packing for our next excursion. More on that next time.

A Colombian airport is quite a large pile of confusion.

Having spent some time in such a wonderful place makes my current reality a bit more harsh. After sitting in my little gray box for a week, its time for my weekend reward. Tomorrow starts an over 8 hour drive trip to Saginaw, MI. Ought to be cold and dull. Exciting.