Apple Photography

While I was bored out of my mind at the Bellevue Square Apple Store, waiting for her highness to pick out an iPad(more like iSad ya feel me?), I watched a class on iPhone videography. I was intrigued and am always interested in improving my iPhone skills, so I checked out availability on their website. I can't turn down a free class!

I found one that looked interesting at the University Village location:

Photo Tour: Framing Architecture

Discover a new point of view on photographing buildings, architectural details, and structures with your iPhone or iPad. We’ll head out and show you how to combine angles and lines to create perspective, add textures and shapes, and set the composition. Devices will be provided, or bring your own. Recommended for all skill levels.

The Apple employees that walked around with us seemed to be legit photography experts. One of them in particular was very intense and seemed to know a lot about both the theory of photography and the technical specs of the iPhone.

I was having fun on my photography class but Lydia was being a pill about it. There's no pleasing her.

Back at headquarters we learned some tricks on how to edit photos.

They then put our work up on the big screen. It was fun.

I worked so hard at photography we all agreed that I had earned a Hello Robin Mackles'more cookie.

Even the cars in the Tesla store had their Halloween costumes on.

Lydia has a bad case of Ernie belly.

Voting is very easy in Washington, and it may be my imagination but I feel like they ask us to vote more often as a result.

Crab Apples

I could not believe the scene at Peter Kirk Pool. First of all, it was 61 degrees outside and everyone on land was wearing coats. Second some of the swimmers were wearing covid masks! Some of my St. Louis friends were particularly triggered as masks fell out of use there some time ago. You'd think that wearing a mask that got wet would pretty much guarantee suffocation.

After my recent fun times eating on Jeff Bezos' dime, When I got an invite from Steve Apple to do the same thing I had no choice but to accept. 

mbar's is accurately described as an "artful rooftop space with a modern Middle Eastern–meets-Mediterranean menu, drinks & sweeping views."

While I was pretty excited to get a chance to talk with Apple's Media Products team, but the event was not very well structured like the Blue Origin events were. It was not super clear who even worked at Apple, and they weren't that outgoing so it was extra awkward.

I stayed for what felt like a socially acceptable amount of time then bounced. I was happy to get a chance to check out the bar and the amazing view of Lake Union, though.

I decided to be Lydia's hero today and brought her back some Mochinuts from the same building as the networking social.

This style of mochi donut was super popular in Japan and I don't think I've had it since I lived there, so it was very fun and nostalgic to have some again.

Spending Delta's Money on Fabulous Prizes.

Previously on John Milito's Amazing Scams, I had just scammed Delta Air Suckers out of $1200 in Target gift cards and was now not-so-patiently waiting for them to arrive.

I realized that if Lydia just let me have her share of the loot that I could possibly buy an Hermes brand Apple Watch. She selfishly declined.

My gift cards finally arrived!

Time to drive immediately to Target and spend these babies.

I decided that I needed an Apple Watch instead of groceries or some other more responsible purchase. Hey this was going to help me track my health stats, and isn't an investment in one's health priceless?

Lydia wanted a Fitbit or something but was clearly becoming more and more jelly as time progressed. 

Lydia got so overcome with jelliness on the way home from Target that I had to drive her to a different Target to get her a watch as well. 

Artist's depiction of Lydia.

We also bought a Roomba vacuum servant with the remainder of our winnings. Two fancy watches and a robot helper for free was not a bad haul at all.

Excitement!

Now I'll never have to wonder if I'm having a heart murmur!

I'll always know what time sunset is! All of my problems are hereby solved. The end.

Left Maui for New Years in Oakland

We pretty thoroughly crushed Hawaii so when the day came to return home I was content. We talked about the possibility of living here. I really like the Asian/US fusion going on here and if I lived in Hawaii I could get a taste of Japan which I've been missing while still, you know, doing American things like humming the Star Spangled Banner while eating a jumbo hotdog in the back of a pickup truck.

We said our goodbyes to our pretty sweet ocean view room.

I needed to get back to the mainland to make more of America's favorite full bodied lager.

The Hawaiian Airlines lounge at the airport was an embarrassment. Maybe the worst I've ever been in actually, and I've been to some real.. situations.

I opened a fridge hoping to find some beer but it was stocked with these awful little water cups. For shame!

The terrible things I did to JetBlue's mileage program meant that our return trip was also via business class. No big deal. I don't like to brag but I bring the business like a tax abatement.

Signature mai tai welcome dranks!

Today I realized that Hawaiian Airlines First Class Lunch/Dinner is pretty meh.

For my first course I went with the "grilled Mediterranean chicken, quinoa tabbouleh and tzatziki salad." The other choice was a Nicoise salad but I generally avoid those. Most people haven't internalized the je ne sais quoi of the Promenade des Anglais and it shows.

Main course was "soy braised beef short rib with bok choy and wasabi mashed potatoes." Lydia did worse with the "Okinawan sweet potato, kabocha, mushroom, quinoa and provolone cheese burger". We agreed that the sweet potato was pretty much just taro and tasted "taroble".

The food onboard was pretty meh but luckily the drinks were still wet. Dessert was a chilled mini orange cream pie.

When we go on adventures around Christmas time our custom is to return home on New Year's Eve because that's when the tickets are cheapest. We kept that beautiful tradition alive.

We stayed at a hotel in Cupertino, California which was cool. Just knowing that we were close to Apple's headquarters was a little bit exciting, I'm embarrassed to report. There were a few Apple office buildings around which was fun.

The hotel was very aware that this was nerdville, and the room's curtains were decorated with binary. I assume it just says "we didn't change the pillowcases" on repeat.

I was pretty tired after a long journey but I didn't want to just go to bed on New Years Eve. That'd be real lame. So I buzzed my cousin Brendan who lives in Oakland and inquired about the hippy hap. Fortune smiled. He was having a New Year's party at his house and we were invited. Three huzzahs.

In what I think we can all agree was a sign of awesomeness we rented a car just so that we could drive to the party.

All of the fun was had. I got to meet a few of Brendan and Alice's friends and see their house. These guys are people I wish I could see more often. We left the party at like 12:02 because we were having issues keeping our eyes open.

I was forced to return to the grind of making delicious beers but I'd like to think I brought a little bit of aloha back with me.