My First Time Skiing

We have a ski trip coming up with our friends in a few weeks, and as I've come to find out, ski trips are freaking expensive. So since I've never skied before I figured I'd get as much falling on my face done here in Missouri as possible where things are cheaper. Then in Utah I can concentrate on that move where you flip upside down and spin your skis in the air like a helicopter.

Hidden Valley Ski Resort. So this is the scene of the accident.

The nice thing about skiing is that there are always a lot of children around who are way better at skiing that you are. Well I'm better at puberty than they are. So there.

I was interested to see my first snow machine. For some reason I stupidly imagined a snow machine as a moveable machine that you'd push around to get complete snow coverage. Sort of like a reverse snow blower.

I thought the paperclip/sticker combo ski pass on the zipper was kind of cool.

Getting the boots on was more work than I would have expected. And walking in them was really awkward. Kind like really heavy spaceboots.

I did a lot of runs on this little training slope that had a little conveyor belt that took you back to the top called a magic carpet. It was all very magical. The gear was pretty amusing. The helmet was rented but the goggles were Zoe's, that she won from that damn Breckenridge Brewery giveaway.

I needed some convincing to sign up for any of this skiing business. I'm more of a level grounded, walking for transport sort of man. My bribe for participating in this expensive venture was Lydia had to buy me a ski suit. I picked the raddest, most 80s Saved by the Bell thing I could find.

The ski lift was probably the scariest part of the whole thing. It was really hard to get off of, and when I fell they had to stop the whole thing and everyone had to wait for me to get out of the way. Seemed like a great place to break your leg.

I took a good lesson with a guy that was actually from Salt Lake, so that made it even more authentic. I learned a few things, and was feeling pretty good. Pizza makes you go slower, french fries make you go faster. Ok I can handle this. I asked my instructor if he thought I was ready for Park City. "No. You're going to need 3 or 4 more lessons." Well I got time for zero more so good luck to me.