Cleveland to the Father of Flight's Flat

The bittersweet end of our time in Cleveland had come. I had hoped to visit Ark Encounter, the life sized Noah's Ark in northern Kentucky on the way home. Brandon got scared and said he didn't want to go. Rather than make him wait in the car while I laughed at animatronic Jesus riding a pterodactyl for hours on hours we just headed home. Luckily Zeus provided us with another, much cheaper, roadside attraction in rural Hagerstown, Indiana: the birthplace of Wilbur Wright co-father of the airplane!!!! You should have seen my passengers' faces light up when I informed them that they'd essentially won the chance to learn about early airplane technology for an hour or more. Hagerstown is not to be confused with Hangrytown, which is where Lydia lives.

Mmmm rural

These are the kind of businesses that I genuinely feel good supporting. The guy in the visitor center said that they were closed, that he was just cleaning or something, but that we could go in anyway. I think living in a city makes these folksy encounters give me even more of the warm fuzzies.

There was a fun sign that compared the 1903 Wright Flyer to a 1955 F-84-F. The Flyer's top speed was 35 mph while the jet's was 600.

The history of the birth home was kind of sad. The state bought it in 1929, didn't take care of it, then razed it in 1955. In 1973 the state built a replica house trying to look as much like the original Wright Home as possible. In 1988 the state wanted to move the home due to low attendance. In 1995 the state deeded the property to the Wilbur Wright Birthplace Preservation Society. The state is kind of a jerk. Indiana has long been my least favorite state in the union so this did not come as a huge surprise.

This thing was frigging awesome. It was like a like a carpenter built a video game from scratch. It was a Wright Flyer simulator and you had to pull all the levers and pedals just like you were flying the real thing. It was also very hard like flying the real thing, with lots of crashes.

Of course I overcame adversity and then sent a telegram to all the haters announcing that I had conquered gravity. I rule STOP You drool STOP

The museum was also doing its best to keep Christ in Christmas.

I can't relate to you here the unspeakably horrible things that Brandon reached in and guessed what.

It was a nice end to a nice trip.

Ohio: Columbus to Cleveland

I don't really remember why we decided to go to Cleveland for Thanksgiving. Anyway, let's go to  Cleveland for Thanksgiving!

We left on Wednesday after work and got as far as Indianapolis, IN.  We didn't really do anything other than fart around in the Airbnb. We always get a hoot out of how much of the Airbnbs' furniture we recognize from IKEA.

The light in the kitchen could have doubled as a tanning bed.

I think cabin fever must have set in because Lydia was losing it while reading the guestbook. What sort of person reads the guestbook anyway?

Losing it.

Lost it.

Brandon has a pretty pink suitcase. I didn't have to even look inside to know that this was full of baby dolls.

Our friend Svetlana lives in Indianapolis so we made plans to meet her at Metro Diner. Apparently it's a chain. And we went to the wrong one. The other one was so far away that we just said screw it and had some breakfast.

We found Ohio right where we expected it to be, which was nice.

We passed Columbus, Ohio and I wanted to stop, take a peek, and stretch my legs. Lydia was all "everything will be closed it's Thanksgiving wah wah". We stopped in Columbus.

And we didn't even have to pay the meter! In yo face Lydia! Hahaha!

The Ohio Statehouse looks kind of weird. Like they ran out of money for the dome at the end and just made it flat on top. It's a pretty old one, built between 1839 and 1861.

Ok, so it was closed, but it did have cool door handles.

Then we drove the rest of the way to Cleveland.

Cleveland and environs have a solid craft beer scene so I was excited to punch up Thanksgiving a little with some strange and exciting brews. We found a gas station which ended up being beer Nirvana.

I'm not embarrassed to admit I bought this one just because the label referenced one of my favorite movies: Donnie Darko. Ok, it was made in Michigan but who cares. Close enough. The label was nice and creepy:

"95 Days… 23 Hours… 14 Minutes… 38 Seconds… 

That is when the batch will be ready.

And when it is, we can breathe a sigh of relief because there will be so much dark fruit cider to look forward to.

The one in the Stupid Man Suit must complete the batch and return the tank to the Primary Universe where it belongs.

Do not doubt his commitment to fermentation. The bottling day is coming and the world is counting on him.

What is the point of living if you don’t have a bottle?

B. AFRAID OF THE DARK"

The Airbnb was nice and homey, and was a good setting for a little Thanksgiving dinner.

There were some medieval looking chalices that were perfect for my fancy hard cider with balaton cherry, raspberry, and black currant.

Dinner turned out pretty awesome.

Ok, this one was legitimately from Cleveland, and it was made with spruce tips! So holiday festive!

"Spruce tips possess many of the same aromas and flavors as hops, but also have a pleasant citrusy pine not unique to themselves. We used a blend of spruce tips and hops in this seasonal beer to yield a balance between tropical hop goodness and piney dankness."

Then it was food coma on the couch time. A Thanksgiving tradition.

Our Airbnb was nestled in Cleveland's Tremont neighborhood, only a couple of blocks away from the house they used in the 1983 film A Christmas Story. So I procured the film for our viewing pleasure.

The Indianapolis 500 Post-Game Show

Memorial Day Monday was nice because we left Indy fairly early and no one had any pressing reason to be home quickly, which gave us ample opportunity to screw around and take a few detours on the drive home.

I stopped at a few liquor stores on the way out of town looking for a limited edition Fuzzy's Vodka bottle made especially for the Indy 500.

I spotted a few in use at the speedway and I was hoping to score one as a memento. No such luck. One enterprising small business owner did take my phone number and said he might ship me one when they got another shipment. We'll see about that.

Fun Fact: Cataract Falls is the largest waterfall by volume and by height in the state of Indiana.

Fun Fact #2: Cataract Falls Covered Bridge is the only remaining covered bridge in Owen County.

Fun Fact #3: I am the awesomest dude, by height, in the state of Indiana.

 

Steph found the Cloverdale, Indiana House Of Bells on some roadside attraction website. It was pretty much a big collection of bells and other metal heavy things outside of someone's house in the middle of nowhere. Kinda cool, kinda serial-killerish.

Greenup, Illinois. Self explanatory.

Near Highland, Illinois we stopped at the Blue Springs Cafe for some foot high pies.

I like meringue a whole lot so the whole situation worked out pretty well.