Saturday, May 02, 2015

A Twins Game

My buddy Justin is a White Sox fan and they were playing the Twins in Minneapolis, and he asked me if I wanted to go and I was like: "yep".

Lydia was hating on this hat that I got free for buying a case of Keystone Light. She gets jealous pretty easily.

I told her if she didn't settle down I would buy this magnificent shirt I saw at Walmart the day before. That showed her. I wonder if all of this time living in the country may have long term effects.

So yeah, baseball happened.

I continued my tradition of cheering for whichever team is against Justin's favorite and was rewarded with victory! Despite it being quite warm out there were a lot of people wearing Twins branded fut hats. It was very Minnesota.

If people would start calling me "The Big Friendly" I would really appreciate it.

Once outside we proceeded to destroy the city. This was a sort of magical, star aligning sort of day for sports: Justin's baseball dreams were smashed, then the Kentucky Derby was raced, then the much hyped Mayweather-Pacquiao fight was fought later in the night.

This bar had rope swings at one table. We swang and swang.

Minneapolis was like a cleaner, newer, nicer St. Louis. Several of us talked about wanting to live there if not for the blood-freezing winters. All of the sky walks between the buildings downtown were a reminder that Minnesota winter would be the longest 10 months of your life. No thanks. Maybe if I had a summer home.

We picked an appropriately snooty place to watch the Derby go down. Brit's Pub even has this really nice bowling green on the roof which was a first for me.

It was closed for bowling that day so I figured it would be a lovely place to sprawl out on. I was promptly yelled at by the staff. Lame.

So then it came to the big fight. The fight of the century that will save boxing and reveal that unicorns were real all along. The damn thing was so expensive for bars to show that they passed on the pain to the consumer. Well this particular free hat wearing consumer has a pretty low tolerance for pain. We asked around different establishments to get a feel for what kind of a cover we were in for. I feel like we found one that was only like 15 which I would have accepted. Due to the fog of war I don't really recall why but we left downtown and took a cab to some other part of town.

So we make it to this place that someone told us would be good to watch the fight and the door man said that "we are over fire code so now the cover is $40". We all had a good laugh. First of all that's not how fire codes work. And second I bet we could call the fire department and they'd make some room in that place real quick. The bouncer quickly backed off his ridiculous story but would not budge on the price. We politely reminded him that crack kills and walked down the street.

Well I've refused to pay many a cover in my day, but I've never had the bouncer run after me and try to haggle. I was glad that everyone was in good spirits, and the haggling was good natured, but we just could not agree on a price. I heard that fight was pretty boring anyway. Turns out when you make $100 million an hour you don't really need to risk getting your face smashed.

The odyssey of the fight was not yet done. This whole time Lydia had been hanging out with her college buds doing who knows what. I figured it was about time to meet back up anyway so I texted her to see what was crackin'. Turns out a friend of a friend was dating a Twins player and a bunch of the team was going to be watching the fight at the player's house. Well that sounded like a good cause. Some of the girls were so excited about it that they went out and bought new clothes just for the occasion. Well that girl ended up flaking on us and the plan fell through. It did sound way too awesome to actually work out. Well by then we were done chasing that silly fight and just enjoyed the rest of our evening.

The next day we met up with my cousin Pat and his kids and had a nice little visit with some bowling and ice cream. Having a giant, spread out family can be fun.

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