A Cruise on the Carnival Dream

The big day of our cruise departure had finally come! There was just a little preparation to do first. The night before the guy at the local liquor store convinced us that we needed to smuggle alcohol onto the ship because it's outrageously priced once aboard. Makes sense. The store very wisely sold just the solution: individual little packets of rum that don't set out the luggage detectors. I tossed around the idea of duct taping the whole thing to my body like a suicide bomber, but we went with the less dramatic method: just putting it in my suitcase. Worked like a charm.

This whole trip I kept having these moments where I would forget it was Christmas-time and then be reminded by some hideous decoration somewhere. Christmas and the winter cold are inexorably linked in my head. Christmas in Florida never felt quite right.

Port Canaveral was a little town whose sole purpose seemed to be catering to the cruise industry. It seemed like you could always see the giant floating buildings in the distance no matter where you were.

That first step onto the ship was really something. Sure, there were lots of people scurrying around trying to get to their rooms, but I was feeling exuberant. There was music pumping, and lot's of new sights to see. Even the elevator ride was noteworthy. Despite the fact we were on a boat, we had twelve floors to climb in a glass elevator before we arrived at our room. Even the inside of the ship was quite a view.

We were ballin' on the 12th floor spa level, so the room's balcony had a great view.

I thought the room itself was a little cheesy, but Lydia liked it more. The pastel Asian prints gave the place a strange Chinese restaurant feel. It was nice otherwise though.

We had some time to kill before the ship left the dock, so once we had our room settled we poked around a bit to see what we could find.

The library was pretty funky looking as well.

Delivered to the room daily was this little newspaper type document that listed where the ship was going that day and other useful information. It's primary purpose though, was to outline the day's fun. We were impressed how much cool sounding stuff there was available to do, although we would quickly become burnt out in the coming days.

There was a safety presentation given in this auditorium type area. I was impressed that the ship was large enough to accommodate rooms so large.

Twins? Twins.

I was also impressed by the technology present on the ship. Sure, calling home from the room phone cost $1.99 a minute, but I'd say it's well worth a $50 call to my mom if it is beamed out of something looking like this. Am I right?

I hadn't anticipated how much fun it would be when the ship left the dock. There was lots of giant horn honking, and the people on land waved to us. It really contributed to the feeling we were about to do something epic.

I waved back from the balcony of my highest room on the ship, but my waves were filled with contempt for the land ants I was leaving behind. Eat my wake landlubbers, eat my wake.

That night we dined in a room right out of a 1960's evil spaceship.

Bienvenido A Miami

Our breakfast in Miami was a collection of foods I'd never had before that I'd found at the local supermarket the night before. Particularly odd were the Florida avocados.

They were giant, round, shiny, and bright green. They didn't taste any better than run of the mill avocados, though, so I didn't really see the point.

Another funky thing that we tried was turrón, which is sort of like a nougat made out of honey and ground nuts. It was kind of like a sweeter, firmer bar of peanut butter. 

We tried to hit some classic Miami spots, but the rain seemed to put a bit of a damper on things. We made a stop at Calle Ocho, a well known little street that has Cuban roots. There is a place that makes cigars, a place where old guys play chess outside, and an old timey movie theater that plays movies with Spanish subtitles. We took the short version of the tour due to the rain, but it was still fun. I of course had to bust out my finest guayabera and have a Cuban sandwich at a little cafe. I'm sure I fit right in.

The Biltmore Hotel

The rain and terrible parking opportunities caused us to not spend too much time in Miami. We took a little drive across the bridge to Key Biscayne, which provided some nice views.

Lot's of driving around provided us plenty of time to sing, and debate the lyrics of, Will Smith's 1997 "Miami".

The area was also a cruise ship port, which amped up our anticipation for our own upcoming cruise adventure.

I saw some fallen coconuts laying on the ground in a country club type area right off the road, and I figured "shouldn't these free coconuts be my free coconuts?"

We then drove our coconut-laden rental car to its final destination: Port Canaveral!

Fact: coconuts don't open themselves. Fact #2: the quality of road-side discovered fruits and vegetables varies widely.

The Everglades and Miami

In the morning we got back on the road after staying in a hotel on the mainland but not too far from Sanibel. Our mission was now to see the Everglades. Well it turns out the Everglades are freaking gigantic, so it was a bit difficult to decide how to interact with them. Going to the National Park visitor center is usually a pretty solid move when in doubt, but this time it was pretty disappointing. The actual visitor center was small, and situated above a sketchy gift shop pushing boat rides aggressively. It wasn't really worth the stop, but it did free up time for some fun later on.

Native Americans have several touristy spots along Route 41, which traverses the Everglades. We decided to take a peek at a couple of them.

I feel like there were others, but the tribe that we interacted with was the Miccosukee.

I challenge any tourist to not stop when driving by a giant statue of a man punching an alligator.

We first checked out a gift shop area, and they were having some sort of a cultural festival which felt expensive to us at the time. The fan boat rides, though, now there's some entertainment.

At the mid point of the trip we were fan-boated (blown?) over to an encampment in the middle of the swamp. It's apparently a pretty old spot, and our guide said that the tribe is descended from the Native Americans who evaded government relocation by hiding in the Everglades.

Lydia was worried about wild animals, but I was on the lookout.

The ride was awesome, but it had an unfortunate ending. Despite the fact that we were right next to the dock, our guide wouldn't let us off the boat. I thought we were going to get a "be sure to tip me" talk, but instead the guide treated his captive audience to a weird rambling religious speech featuring a near-death experience. No tip for you, crazy!

Back on shore we ate at a nearby restaurant run by the tribe. We read that they had exceptional pumpkin bread, so had to have that. It was like a dense, crispy pancake sort of thing. It was great but filling. We hardly had any room left for our frog legs!

 The rest of the drive to Miami was uneventful, but rainy. Lydia had found a pretty awesome hotel for us to stay at, the Mayfair Hotel & Spa, which had these unique open air atrium things within it.

In a cruel twist of fate, the hotel's coolest feature ended up being its downfall. All of that rain mixed with the open roofing led to some serious leakage. Now I'm not a scientist, but I'm pretty sure that fan boat captain put some sort of a swampy curse on me for not tipping.